I have been listening to the Mahabharata podcast Link. Being an Indian and having learned from a Hindu school, I am accustomed with the Hindu Philosophy. I have been a neutral person regarding religion. I must accept that Christianity helped me get through some of my worst days, staying truthful and responsible when my mother died and my dad and sister blamed me for that, when my sister and dad went on with their illegitimate affairs emotionally and but not getting physically involved(I hoped).
I stayed strong because of the commandments of the Bible. I bravely faced my emotional and verbal abuses with a sad heart. I was sad, diffident and taken advantage.
My relatives ignored my respect and needs because of my helpless condition. None wants to be with a downer, right? Christianity helped me withstand the cruel, abusive family but with a sad heart. Christianity is partially to be blamed for keeping up with this abusive relationships, like Jesus suffered…
I was always sad and my relatives were always critical of my failures. Sad people tend to be diffident, hard-working. At my age, my hard work was to study well and so it paid me off. I also started to reply back to my abusers and was labelled as an arrogant.
Due to my studies, I moved out of my Dad’s house. I still considered myself as a devout Roman Catholic. I once again found people who accepted me with my flaws and perfections. I became happy. My sadness came out only when I was with my father and family. Nevertheless I was righteous with no secret affairs of any kind but with a sadness at the core of my heart.
After another round of abuse before my marriage, I had absolutely no expectations of my marriage. But after my marriage, I started thinking of my life and how everyone had abused me and became stressed. I started complaining a lot and my health deteriorated. That’s when I started looking for answers elsewhere than Christianity. Positive Psychology helped me a bit and then I remembered the Hinduism.
That’s how I started learning Mahabharata.